winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
