I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
