feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Two words: blizzard sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
