Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
