we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
