Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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