your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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