yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
