So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
