spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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