she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
