I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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