thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
