I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
