I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
