At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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