make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
the liver wants what the liver wants
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
