Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
id be glad to
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
