me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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