I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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