hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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