I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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