hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
