I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
