a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
