KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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