Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
