Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize