mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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