I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
