We should be called the Road Head Warriors
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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