If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
