they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize