I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize