my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
