Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am full of burrito and curiosity
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Sorry about my life...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize