There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
