The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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