forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
