he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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