I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize