i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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