There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
