small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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