There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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