you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
