I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize