After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
