and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
