Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You can't just leave with hair like that
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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