I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
