I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize