Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
