if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
