look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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