God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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