Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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