just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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