its not stalking. its research.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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