at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
