Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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