We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ok first of all what the fuck
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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