The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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