we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Houston, we have a squirter
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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