my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
