drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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