susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
