Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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