I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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