I hate all girls vehemently.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize