oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
