Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
