Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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