Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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